Shockwave after the Delta Flyer
There’s a parable I used to watch and learn from. The Good Samaritan, who anonymously gives without fame. It’s a solid story and many draw from it in present day actions of selflessness.
Sometimes, though, we fail to see full benevolence in one’s actions. And sometimes it is important to recognize it when we do experience it. These two truths do not go against the morality of the teaching. Given the right circumstances, they enhance it.
I have had numerous selfless acts and gifts given to me, which is why I have the fortunate life I currently live. Many are just like me. I have also given in tangible and intangible way. Many are just like me.
To recognize benevolence in action, first we must learn to understand intentions. It is the individual, personal gestures that sometimes slip through our perception. But it is precisely these lessons that prepare us for handling the good samaritan acts that will eventually come.
When I was younger, I was averse to high roller coasters. My Mom took me on a flat, fast ride instead. The Delta Flyer found us both in one car with her arms tightly over mine. She did not mean to hurt me, but the hold was so tight that it became painful throughout the ride. I remember considering frustration until I realized that she was just trying to make me feel safe. And, she had succeeded in that. Her gesture of care resulted in a brief, unintentionally painful experience that couldn’t overshadow brilliant, positive memories. Even after, the Delta Flyer sure remained a fun design.
As gifts and care go, sometimes these experiences happen. We fail to see full benevolence, just as the giver may fail to communicate their full intention (verbally, non-verbally). We work through it though.
You know why?
Because giving and caring are works in progress.
Too, it’s important to recognize the benefactor as their own individual person. Do not surrogate them in your mind. Instead, appreciate your relationship just as it is: individual and unique.
In fact, caring for one another through security and support takes many forms. We see this care in relatives, friends and neighbors. We see this in ourselves. We liken another’s action to a familiar one in any given instance: this new friend is protective like a brother, that acquaintance has our interest at heart like a best pal, this colleague is watchful like a mother.
Instead of summarizing characteristics and misplacing familiar, I would venture to just accept that humans look after others because it is innate. It is because we have good hearts, and not because we’re a replica of another in protective or benefactor instincts. I have blood relatives, family, friends that are family (brothers), new colleagues and awesome teammates. And no two are the same nor replaceable.
We can each understand another’s good intentions, drawing on similar experiences from the past while allowing the other’s unique space in our life to shape distinctively.
A solid example lies within a few protective men in my life who provided me care, a wonderful gift.
If a coax to the coaster world was successful, usually my father would be the one to ride alongside me. He’d put out an extra arm around me as assurance that nothing was going to happen. He’s making his arm extra strong so I feel secure, I thought.
Looking back, a Chicago wooden roller coaster without a seatbelt was probably an instance where he’d want to use that strong arm for his own peace of mind too. It was a win-win so we both could enjoy our time.
If my cousin took me on a ride, my father would remind him of the importance of a strong arm.
And the moments when I didn’t join in coaster fun? My other cousin was there, detailing the map of the park for me. Every time. Ceaselessly, whether or not I was attentive.
Now here’s what I mean: later on in life, I went with a best friend, brother if you will, to the same park we loved. He was fascinated with coasters and so I grew much more at ease. Still, he had his own method of strong arm — mostly through humor. He was the mapper, the one to ride alongside, a piece of each of these others in care. But he was his own in my life and heart.
And because he was his own, I was my own to him. I became a much more enthusiastic listener on velocity, physics and the engineering of these coasters. This was particularly true for the beloved Shockwave. Ultimately, his passion coerced me into my first Shockwave thrill, too. Was the slow, chain clinking suspense before the drop really necessary? I doubt it…but ask the carpenter.
Isn’t it cool how each individual’s attentive shape of care brings about our own unique one for them?
It is the same with givers and benefactors.
In reality, each person in our life supports and secures us in a way no one else has or can.
I may care for you in a protective way, and you will recognize some of these similarities in your friend, sister, wife, cousin, mom, colleague. There’s a freedom to recognize similarities, but I am not these other individuals.
Appreciate my individual place in your heart as our connection takes shape.
It is good that we have a bond unique, shaped in variable form of assured, trusted, tested affection.
Because I learned from the Delta Flyer, I was prepared for the Shockwave.
As we understand that it’s a work in progress, and we understand that no two individuals care in exact comparison, we better understand and see benevolence.
Equally important, we should recognize a good samaritan act when we see it. And again, we should recognize it with appreciation of individuality. There is no such thing as surrogacy in the form of caring because no two relationships are the same.
In fact, some of us may provide finances for health systems, cover widespread vaccine and public health campaigns through our charities, address major international socioeconomic disparities…..and still we find we are working for and with one another on a unique, individual level.
These individual levels are good samaritan acts that often are more emotionally complex. We are working on matters that cannot be grant funded or placed in an economic portfolio. We are forced to look within, a work in progress. Each is a lesson in intention, individuality, care and ultimately…a lesson in love. And because of this relationship, because of this effort, the good samaritan often finds his or her investment to have returned in alternatively beautiful form.
Through it all, the benefactor must not just be recognized because of a good deed, but recognized because of his or her own effort and work in progress. It isn’t just work that positively affects one. It is work that has affected all, a rippling effect that has positively impacted the sponsoring giver.
It is a shockwave that the good samaritan has developed, experienced and can provide the physics lesson on.
And thus, because of the sheer nature, effect and power of caring, of good hearts, the good samaritan should be recognized.
Perhaps one day you’ll find yourself standing next to me in line. Perhaps you’ll feel inclined to show your care, to give, by holding on extra tight. Maybe you’ll ease my mind by navigating and dictating the intricacies of mechanics to me, using exceptional technological skill. Or, you’ll be the woman who’s inclined to parallel equal technological skill of a male counterpart. Maybe I’ll ask you if some of this is really necessary….
But no matter what, it is my hope that you will be reminded of this note and remember: our unique care, shaped in variable form of assured, trusted, tested affection, is a work in progress. And that’s enough of a gift, the best gift, anyway.
It is my hope that, should you have been caring for quite some time, you know that I am aware of and grateful for you and your priceless gift.
Isn’t it cool how each individual’s attentive shape of care brings about our own unique one for them?
In reality, each person in our life supports and secures us in a way no one else has or can.
Now if you’re anything like some of those thrill ride enthusiasts I’ve mentioned, you’re ready to keep going. We’ve got rides and maps and lots of fun and love to go experience.
And there’s just too much care in our hearts to stand around.
Come on, let’s go make the world a better place.
